Okay, people! Here it is!!! IUI #1 is in the books!
Oh, boy, where to begin? Well, first of all, it’s Saturday. And it’s late. And I had an amazing day, which may or may not have included alcohol (it’s okay, I asked my doctor about it. Chill.)
First of all, I got my surge yesterday and called in. This is Dr. Koopersmith’s weekend, so I was scheduled for 9am today for our very first insemination!! Since it was a Saturday, Quincy was able to…er…do his part… at home, and I arrived at the office specimen in hand (well, in a cup, because ick). Dr. K immediately put it in to wash.
To wash. I know. Sounds bizarre. This may get a little gross. Bear with me.
So, injecting straight baby goo directly into a uterus is not a bright idea. There’s a lot of other, uh..stuff…mixed in with the swimmers and shoving everything up inside a nice sterile environment like the uterus is a recipe for infection. Usually, there’s a nice little cervix and some slimey stuff to keep everything except the little swimmers out of The Great Beyond. So, they need to wash it.
I know, I’m super technical.
Anyway, once everything was cleaned, concentrated and ready to go, we did another ultrasound to see if I’d ovulated yet or, if not, how large my follies were. I had not, and I had one decent follie and one that she described as “meh.” It was below 20mm, and while they’ve gotten successful pregnancies with smaller ones, size really does matter. Bigger is better. Insert your own punchline here; I’m tired.
Anywho, we proceeded with the actual insemination. It was..uncomfortable, but not necessarily painful. And I think the only reason why I felt anything at all was that my cervix was closed and she needed a little extra maneuvering to get the little turkey baster up there. (Catheter, whatever.)
Which brings up an interesting point. My cervix was closed. On the day of my ovulation. This may be another reason why I’m not getting knocked up. Swimmers can’t swim upstream if the dam isn’t open. Dam it.
(See what I did there?!?! I’m cracking myself up. Too much port wine…)
So that was it. Ten minutes with my butt propped up and we were finished.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I arrived at the clinic fully decked out like an extra from Robin Hood. See, my best friend’s birthday was yesterday, and months ago, we all decided to celebrate with her at the Renaissance Pleasure Faire. And if I’m gunna do something like this, I go full out, head to toe cosplay. Because.
And yes, I am convinced Dr K thinks I’m crazy. She was all like, “Hey, I get it, man. You just, ya know…you do you.”
She may not have actually said those exact words, but it’s been a long day. But I did ask her if it was safe to eat, drink and be merry at the Faire, and she assured me that I could do whatever. And boy, did I.
We go back in tomorrow to do this all over again. Without the cosplay.
My Stork Got Lost 