Even though it took something horrible to make me switch – like her not returning my phone calls during a miscarriage – I’m glad I changed doctors.
My new ob/gyn is amazing. I feel like I wasted a ton of time with my old one. I’m not a spiteful person, so I won’t put her name in this journal, but we can call her Dr. H. It’s been over a month after the miscarriage and she still hasn’t returned any of my phone calls, so she and her office can go jump in a lake.
Here’s a bit of advice. Get second opinions. And third opinions, if you’re not 100% satisfied with the answers you’re getting. All my friends were questioning some of the things that Dr. H was telling me. How she didn’t know why I wasn’t conceiving. That getting pregnant was just “hard.” But I took her at her word. She was a doctor, after all, and I’m just a person struggling with infertility. She has a degree and lots of letters after her name. I’m just…a noob. But I should have looked into other doctors ages and ages ago.
Things have been better this last month. I’m still not myself, but I’m a lot more hopeful than where I was. I still have really bad days, and I’ve gained a little weight from the stress, but I’m trying to move on. Taking the advice of my new doctor – let’s call her Dr. T – I started ovulation kits as soon as I stopped bleeding…which actually let up right around my last entry. I got my LH surge the weekend of Halloween, which all things considered was only about 2 weeks later than it should have come. I guess it’s a small blessing that the miscarriage happened so early – I know sometimes it takes women a few months for their bodies to start working properly again, and I was only thrown off a couple weeks.
I got my surge around Halloween, but we didn’t attempt anything – we’re supposed to wait a cycle after a miscarriage for things to completely normalize. But, this isn’t a bad thing at all.
Why? Because, if things go the way they should, I’ll ovulate again next week. Over Thanksgiving. When Q and I are on vacation, staying in a super nice hotel with all the time in the world to ourselves. It’s wonderful.
But anyway. Let me tell you a bit about Dr T, and why I feel like I wasted so much time with Dr. H.
First of all, there is something to be said for bedside manner. Take my primary care physician, for instance. He is also amazing. He talks to you like you’re a person and not just a name on a chart. He remembers you. He asks about things outside of his office visits. He remembers the names of your pets. Dr. H barely remembered my name and never asked about anything else. Her office was very clinical, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I think that doctors are better at their jobs if they get the whole picture of the person they’re trying to treat. At first, I was fine with Dr. H’s no-nonsense demeanor – I assumed that her stuffiness was because she was just a really good, super busy doctor. I’m not so sure about that any more.
Dr. T – my new doctor, actually cares. She chats with you before she gets down to the actual appointment, just to see how you’re doing. She did an ultrasound on me at one of my first visits – something that Dr. H actually never ordered – and Dr. T noticed I only have 2 follicles on my right side and 4 on my left. She wants to schedule a follow up visit after this next cycle to see if that number changes. Apparently, a woman my age is supposed to have more than 10 on either side. This may be the #1 cause of why I can’t get pregnant (and stay that way…).
Also. I can email Dr. T with any questions I have. It takes her a few hours, but she always responds to my emails. I had a ton of questions about the miscarriage, my next ovulation, that sort of thing, and I was able to just shoot her a quick email and get a reply. I like this.
Most importantly – she emailed me a list of fertility clinics she recommends. Some have free consults, some are pricey, but the point is, she sent me a pretty big list of clinics in my area that I could check out. Dr. T covered more in two visits than Dr. H covered in years. So, yeah. I really like her.
I’m going to look into the clinics. I have new insurance, and even though the insurance itself is pretty exceptional – they don’t cover fertility treatments. They’re “elective” procedures. So Q and I have to save up a bit before we go that route, since everything will be out of pocket. But a consult can’t hurt, so if nothing happens over our Thanksgiving vacation… I’ll make an appointment with one of the fertility clinics.
Life goes on.
My Stork Got Lost 