Allie’s shower was amazing.
All this time the bitchy part of my brain has been comparing it to my shower, but they really were apples and oranges. I don’t really want to force a “theme” or anything on Allie’s wedding or my wedding, but mine was more fun, romantic, fairy-tale-esque. The girls did butterflies and daisies and faeries and my Celtic music, and set outside in Lisa’s backyard.
I focused on bright colors, dream-like qualities, and had all my friends there, whereas Allie’s was more…I don’t know…sacramental?
Formal? Sophisticated. Yeah. Sophisticated.
Not saying mine wasn’t, but her colors were more subdued, the attendees were older, it was catered…just a completely different vibe altogether. Chris’ family is doing a lot of the planning, and the shower was mostly her mom’s and Chris’ mom’s friends and family members, which was fine. I have to admit, it’s nice that our weddings are going to be so different, so no one can compare the two. Mine was perfect for me, and I know Allie’s is going to be perfect for her, and I’m so happy about that.
I stayed up all night on her stuff, which was fine. I didn’t get to finish all I wanted to, which was not fine. I’ve had so much on my mind these last few weeks that I just didn’t feel like doing anything, and her shower (and my responsibilities toward said shower) were put off. I felt so much like a bad friend.
I broke down crying as soon as I got to the shower. I was late, my stuff wasn’t finished, and I’m still a little emotionally unstable right now. Try explaining that to people who don’t know what’s going. I’m a wreck, and I can’t talk about why.
The shower turned out perfect, though. The games were fun, and I was super proud of my prizes, and I’m glad I over-prepared on the games. I know I spent too much, but I think I was trying to make up for all the negative thoughts in my head about her shower by kind of over-doing that part of it. I really hope those girls forget to ask me for my receipts. This was my bed, I made it and I’ll sleep in it.
I don’t know how much sense that makes and I don’t really feel like explaining it… it was like I was trying to prove to myself that I did care about Allie, I did care about her wedding, and I wasn’t jealous or angry or whatever emotion I stuck on it – so I went way over the top. But I’m so glad I did.
The shower was nice, and I was able to really let go of a lot of what’s been heavy on my heart while there, just hanging out with my friends. I’ve known those girls forever, and I think I really needed that time with them. They gave me a chance to emotionally recharge, and I so desperately needed that, more than even I realized.
I sipped champagne, too – which I’m not even worried about. Nothing is going to happen this month, that’s for sure. Between Quincy working all night and me preparing for Allie’s shower, we were both too busy to do anything. It’s kind of funny, actually. After what happened, it’s good to have a month were I just know nothing is going to happen, and just not worry about it. So I’ve decided that I’ll allow myself caffeine, and a glass of wine, since I’m keeping such great tabs of my cycle. The two weeks before ovulating, I’m not worrying about how much caffeine I’m drinking and I won’t beat myself up if I drink a glass of wine or champagne or whatever.
My Stork Got Lost 